A Microbrewer's Guide to the Pagan community

As anyone who listens to me long enough will realize, two of the outside- mainstream communities I am embroiled in are the Pagan/magical revival and craft beer. One day in the shower, it occurred to me that there were more similarities than differences, and so I created this comparison.

New Agers - Sam Adams drinkers They think they’ve stumbled onto something new and innovative, but it looks like big business to everyone else.

Thelemites - ESB (Extra Special Bitter) drinkers Theirs is an acquired taste for most, and they claim it’s the best one around.

British Traditional Wiccans - IPA (India Pale Ale) drinkers Enjoy something quintessentially British, but with Indian adaptations. Get very hot under the collar if you point out similarities to ESB.

Genero-Wiccans - Pale Ale drinkers They don’t see the difference between their choice and the above, but their brew is sometimes quite watered down.

Playgans - Hefeweizen drinkers They’re fun loving, but they only come out in the summer and afterwards you wonder why everything smells funny.

Celtic Reconstructionists - Irish Dry Stout drinkers* Tell you that your favorite variety of their brew is the wrong type, and suggest another. None of them agree on what the right type is. *Guinness is an Irish Dry Stout, you see…

Hellenic Reconstructionists - Milk Stout drinkers You think you had something similar as a kid, in school, but you never realized how white-washed it was.

Baltic Reconstructionists - Imperial Porter Drinkers They don’t care if you’ve heard of what they like, they just like it.

Asatruar - Imperial Stout drinkers They like it strong. Their preference is sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, but it always kicks the ass of the unprepared.

White-Power Asatruar - Reinheitsgebot fanatics Seem to believe that wide imposition of antiquated purity laws will fix everything. Don’t seem to realize even the Fatherland doesn’t feel that way anymore.

OBOD Druids - Black And Tan drinkers They enjoy it, but you’re frightened that they mix those things together.

ADF Druids - Belgian beer drinkers They have a wide variety to their preferred brews, and some consider them superior to other options. Others complain that everything has a bit of the same weird taste to it, and find it utterly pretentious.

Chaos Magicians - Smug Grain-based Homebrewers Tell you that you should do it all yourself, and if it doesn’t come out the way you liked it, then it’s completely your fault. Claim their preference is superior to any other. Many people find it a lot of extra hoops to jump through for the end product.

Ceremonial Magicians - SCA Homebrewers Their practices seem antiquated, and it’s hard to get a justification out of them beyond tradition, but some of what they do is very interesting.

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